Shaking Elliot

Dale I would rescue you if I could but I can't. That is I want to rescue you but I'm not in a position to right now. I'll call you this afternoon and see how you are going, see if you've managed to find someone to keep you company this evening and then we can talk on the phone tonight if you're lonely.

Yeah right, good thing I'm not holding my breath waiting for that phone call seeing as its 10pm, I left a message for him at five and he hasn't called me back. This is the shake I've been needing, Elliot is by definition a fuck up and it doesn't matter how I bother to think of him in my head because the cold hard fact is that he doesn't love me, doesn't mean what he says and I'm wasting head space imagining the impossible.

Comments

Dahlia said…
Damn shithead men
Gemnastics said…
...and this is the other uncomfortably familiar scenario. i have learned to live with it now - it's been so long since i haven't felt this way that it's like an allergy, which i have also learned to live with.

the trick is to stop feeling that it is always a bad thing to feel this way. you are this way, you can't help it, might as well accept it (and laugh at it if you can).

i am more guilty of imagining the impossible than anyone. but for the most part you have both feet on the ground, and you'll be fine.
Pawlie Kokonuts said…
I just finished a book by one of your compatriots, David Malouf.Fly Away Peter. Good stuff. Carry on.
Anonymous said…
Does Elliot read your blog?
Anonymous said…
Sad but true Dale. Best to move on and keep your headspace for you. Allowing your headspace to be overtaken by others is crippling, I know.

Good luck with the clean out and rearrangement of space.
DS said…
Avi: Yes!
Gemma: God I hope you're right.
Pawlie Kokonuts: Thanks.
Creamboy: No, I don't think so.
Damo: Yes and thanks.
DS said…
Oh no! I can't believe I called him a fuck up. This is not good. I understand that he has a disease and it is not like me to use that in anger. I am once again disappointed in myself.
Anonymous said…
dont be too hard on yourself dale. many a thing is said, or in this case written, when one is not in their best frame of mind. if you can acknowledge that and know that its emotion and not rational thought that fuels it, but know inside that your true feeling and understanding is much better, then you can be that better person that you know you are. or to use you term, be the captain of who you are.