I am an island

I wish I was an island, with guards and gates and rope bridges and a team of psychologists who examined whether or not letting someone on to the island is a good idea or not, without me ever having to know. But I'm not. I'm an empty block on a busy street, no fences.

I had a marvelous day with Elliot yesterday despite being chaperoned by the rehab escort but something is creeping in. All day I checked my email, just in case. All day I felt a rumbling in my foundations. All day I felt, strange and then this evening its manifested into something odd.
He doesn't like my curtains.
He hates my curtains and its doing my head in.

I love my curtains. They're only Ikea curtains, yes yes Ikea is the devil etc, but I love them. They were the first thing I bought for my life post Artboy. I remember coming swinging across the carpark with a stupid grin on my face, convinced for the first time, that I could make a new life for myself, one piece of fabric at a time.

Yesterday, sitting on my bed with cup of tea in hand, Elliot strumming away on the guitar and Raul sitting silent like a sentinel, Elliot suddenly looked up and declared "I hate your curtains. A dead moose could have picked better curtains." I can't remember if I asked him if he liked them or if he just made the evil proclamation unprompted and now I am obsessed.

I tried to phone rehab and ask if he meant it or if he was joking but he's in an AA meeting. I left a message asking him to call me but I doubt he'll be able to manage it this evening, things are pretty strict in rehab but I am a woman possessed by the need to talk about my curtains. I wasn't going to phone him for a while, thought it best or didn't want to start timetabling my life around talking to him but this is overriding every sane thought I've ever had. I need to talk to him about my curtains, now and I don't care how I manage it.

Comments

Dahlia said…
Dale, your curtains are lovely- the pattern, the color, the way it appears to be blowing in the wind. Tell Artboy when he lives with you again and wants to buy you new curtains he can have an opinion. :-)
DS said…
Oh no! Please don't confuse Elliot with Artboy. Artboy has never and will never see my curtains. Its Elliot that's not too keen on them.
DS said…
One more thing. Thanks, I think my curtains are pretty spiffy too.
Anonymous said…
This isn't loking good Dale. I feel like I'm watching you walking to the edge of the cliff. Please don't jump unless your eyes are wide open.
Dahlia said…
I did have them slightly confused. Sorry about that. Replace Artboy with Elliot. :-)
DS said…
Jeremy:

Oh dear. What is that particularly worries you? The weirdness about the curtains? Or the general invasion of the bubble of Dale? Perhaps by answering your questions I could answer my own?
Penn said…
It is hard when someone doesn't like your curtains....or the butter dish you brought them, or the pottery you made yourself..or the shirt you picked, or the way you arranged the colors in the tulip bed.

But I think it's okay. The only other option is to want a lie.

You pick the curtains in a moment. You choose. And it is your moment they reflect.

And you.

But good on it! Good on you!

Hail to vomitus curtains and bad pottery and all things we choose!
Anonymous said…
I am worried that you are obsessed ovr him. I am worried that tjis is going to end badly for you. Prove me wrong!