Recombobulate

I don't how to get to the airport. How can I not know how to drive to the airport? I'm going to look it up now. I'm The Captain of picking up my brother from the airport because my mother was hit by a truck. My mother is fine, she is insisting on saying that she was hit by a truck even though it was her car and not her person that was hit by a truck. My mother has a tiny dramatic streak, I myself am always entirely sensible and never melodramatic at all. I can hear the sniggering, please stop.

The map thing tells me I live 7.66km from the airport, this might explain why the planes are sometimes loud. The roads look like gladwrap marks on cake icing. I have been to the airport many times but I have never been the one driving. Tomorrow morning I will not have a copilot, just me and the broomer. I have no idea what this map is trying to tell me. They have it upside down from how it is in my brain. I don't know the names of any of the roads. I am starting to panic.

I might just telephone China and say please keep my brother for another 24hrs while I learn where the airport is.

Comments

TimT said…
Why are Sydney maps always opposite the way they are in your head? It's bizarre.

Once when I was boarding in Sydney I went home for the holidays, and the whole city had reversed itself compared to the way it was in my head. I started getting disturbed when I noticed that Central Station was entirely the wrong way around.

Anyway, just stand on your head while driving to the airport, that should even things out.
DS said…
Oh yes. That ought to do it. I don't know why I didn't think of that earlier?

I'm actually considering doing a practice run as though I was a granny. Grannies are very fond of doing practice runs and I can see why. Very sensible if somewhat floral.
cath said…
Make sure you take a sensible handbag stuffed with tissues and lip balm. They're always essential in a crisis.
If in doubt, go the long way around. Hop on the M5 and follow the little blue signs. You can't g wrong (even if you're me..and that's saying something)
DS said…
The M5? Don't I have to leave the city to get there? AH!!! I don't know where the M5 is. I was just going to go through Enmore then Marrickville and down past Sydenham etc. Oh bother. I will look at the map again. Someone just beeped outside my window! They are playing classical music very loudly on car stereo. Possible future husband? Am wearing t-shirt that says toast on it, ideal outfit for meeting people.
TimT said…
What do you want to get married for? Don't get married! Live a disaffected Bohemian lifestyle with a listless youth that corrupts into a louche and decadent existence in a Newtown garret, climaxing in a moment of existential anguish and despair at the modern condition on Paramatta Road. Here, if you like, take a government grant to help you on the way.
DS said…
I don't want to get married! I'm just wondering what is like.