Drug me or fuck off

on
I am going to the Melbourne Cup. I don't want to go to The Melbourne Cup. I want to put it in the too hard basket. It is making me anxious, its not for a few weeks but right now if you walked in here I would launch at you and rip your head off because its flight or fight and I've nowhere to run. At least I would look fetching in my new sun dress as I dropped from the ceiling screaming like a banshee and smashing your head through the floor.

I am going with The Spatula, her work has a tent for the cup and I even have a free ticket for the lovely Gemma if she would like to come but I can't organise it today. I don't know what's wrong with me. It feels like if I go to the Melbourne Cup my foot will get caught in the stirrup and I will be dragged to my screaming death by my snapped and broken leg, my skin being scraped from my body.

I need to be sedated. I need drugs. I need money for drugs. I need drugs. Its time like this I wish I was some kind of junkie. I guess a cup of tea will just have to do. I wish I had a biscuit to go with it.

Comments

Maria said…
I s'pose you could pray for a one-day dose of horse flu and you'd have an excuse for not turning up.

Otherwise, make the most of your sundress, wear a fetching hat, and let's hope the foot-in-the-stirrup thingame stays in the realm of fantasy.

Try this recipe:

Pepper, salt, garlic, watermelon juice, sultanas, lots of lime juice, chocolate chips, sour cream, coffee, worcestershire sauce, vinegar, wasabi.

Whiz it together into a cocktail, top with an anchovy and some jelly beans and drink it up. It is non-alcoholic but it is ok.

Either it will make you hallucinate so you will feel like you are on drugs or it will taste so foul the Melbourne Cup will be the least of your problems.
21/10/2007, 11:10
DS said…
Hideous! Horrible! Ghastly! Thanks.
21/10/2007, 12:35
Anonymous said…
ok miss black blogger that is presently wearing a thin veil of white. it saddens me that you feel it a chore or a mission that can only be endured with chemical assistance instead of an opportunity to get away (which has barely been done since the beach house adventure), and to see the world and the people you regularly cohort with. As manager im advising that there is little organising to be done. Gemma has accepted the invitation to don a frock... flights will be sorted by tomorrows end and we shall go adventuring in the early days of November - trust me it will be worth it. Melbourne is a beautiful city and i wont let it get out of hand (unless we decide we want it to at the given time :>) xx

p.s is it possible to don a frock while remaining just a little Rock? hehe
22/10/2007, 01:40
Gemnastics said…
i am indeed pleased to accept the invitation, though i have no frock to speak of. now i am anxious about melbourne cup day. this is an odd thing because i have never before in my life paid attention to melbourne cup day, except last year or possibly the year before when it was suddenly freezing and there were frock-clad women in goosebump hell being blown about and losing their fascinators while i sat sensibly clad in a coat and gloves.

i have two spare futons if cheap accommodation is in order???
23/10/2007, 22:50
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