There it is

Its not the cold weight of sorrow but something quite like it. I woke up with a headache and sore teeth from clenching my jaw all night in my sleep. I went to sleep sobbing but determined. There's bound to be a few problems with my decision to walk away from Elliot, him being one of them. Turns out he's being reading this blog all along but not telling me so imagine my surprise when I sat down with a nice cup of tea and feeling generally cheery about things to discover an email from Elliot equating my decision to walk away from him with one of the numerous times he got fired from a great job for being drunk. I really don't see the connection.

I have sent an email off to a chosen few for sensible feedback. Boli's response has just arrived, it is very short, he said that I have been a fucktard where Elliot is concerned, for a year or so, I really should listen to Boli more often. He told me more than a year ago that nothing good will come of this. I don't how he's always right but he is, the bastard.

I will now wait on more responses. It is time to be a collective. Oh, I better go to work actually. Its getting close to 9 and I'm not yet dressed, thankfully the sobbing has stopped.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Your situation is so familiar to me. If he is an alcoholic, especially one still in rehab, there is NOTHING in his life that isn't connected to his being drunk, alcohol will always come first. Learn that lesson and you will be steering. Nothing worse than being a passenger when the drivers a drunk. Cut him loose. Set yourself free. And keep writing. I like it.
DS said…
Yes, he is an alcoholic but he is sober now and has been for about a year, actually if memory serves its around the 18th of December.

Its not drinking alcohol that comes first its not drinking alcohol so I guess it the same thing but in opposition. He will always be an addict whether sober or drunk and you are right he will always behave like an addict.

Thanks for liking the writing, shame its contributing to complications right now but I'm sure that will pass.
Anonymous said…
Dale,

Simple question. Are you hanging onto Elliot because you think he's the best you're ever going to get?

If so, you're in for a rough ride. If not, ditch his sorry arse and move on.

I'm not going to quote the Rolling Stones this time, but I will quote Lennon. Life is what happens to you when you're making grand plans for it. Blogging aside, your life is not a movie. So don't treat an alcoholic love interest as some movie-of-the-week character.

If you're unhappy now, imagine how this is going to end up ten years hence.
Gemnastics said…
Will it help to refer to him as Smelliot? Or Helliot? Probably not. I will try to come up with better ideas.
DS said…
Right, got some things to think about.

Driftwood, you have a locked blog. I would like to read your blog, I am all curiousity. Who are you, where are you from, do you like cupcakes?

Gemma, it might help. I will try.
There's a cupcake shop in Pitt St. Just cupcakes. That's all they sell. You should probably request a reconnaissance team to go stock up on your behalf. (Which is to say: I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Blerk. I send you warm wishes and hope, and, for what it's worth, I cannot imagine you not being loved from many quarters.)
DS said…
Your warm wishes are remarkably comforting and I thank you for them.
Anonymous said…
My blog is an empty locked box.

I did post for a while, but felt slightly weird thinking about my thoughts being out in the open, so I deleted them.

I've left the blog as a blank space which I look at from time to time.