Well we all have crosses to bear. I am standing underneath one and it looms large, larger than the school taught Bruce Dawe cross flying up in my childhood mind. Larger than Rio or the impossibility of running on scissors.
This is my afternoon microwaving baked beans and staring at textbooks, this is my early evening still sitting in this morning's gym clothes pulling at my hair, this is my night gathering intellectual discomfort at the molecular level. This is high level gut wrenching sonic boom procrastination.
Dear Deakin University,
I take back my grant application, I take back my fees, I take back the small promise that I would do this because I have made a mistake. I need my downtime back. I need hours of rolling words in my head and cigarettes in my fingers. I need space between objects and unexpected horizons. I need the pointless wandering in my hallway. I need invented crises and a reorganised pantry. I need the starkness of an empty life and the hard edges of nothing. Dear Deakin university I think I have made a mistake.
