Important points to remember not to mention at tomorrow's frightening job interview

  1. My imaginary submarine.
  2. Obsessive recurring thoughts about discovering Antarctica.
  3. Tendency to attempt to calculate my longitude by chronometer when seated at cafes.
  4. Voyages on my imaginary submarine.
  5. That summer I spent snorkelling in an inland swimming hole.
  6. Being frightened by the idea of falling off the continental shelf.
  7. Design plans for the unitard uniforms on my imaginary submarine.
  8. Spooking like startled a horse every time I see a fish whilst snorkelling.
  9. My drawings of a diving helmet for my cat.
  10. My fervent wish to attach a mast to the roof of The Peach and be the first person to sail a house to the supermarket and back again.
  11. That time I dove into the midnight ocean yelling, 'don't worry I'll be fine but if I'm not just tell my mother I was taken by the sea'.
  12. The two litre plastic bottle full of sea water I keep under the sink in case of ocean-needing emergency or similar.
  13. That I wrote a list of points to remember not to mention.

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