Letters of business

on
This email just popped into my inbox:
Dale,
You asked me what I hope to achieve by talking to you and I can't find
an answer.
It was wrong of me to ask to meet you. I don't know what I can say
right now that would be of any use. I'm sorry to have bothered you.
Artboy.


What the hell? I have no idea what this email actually means and no way of finding out so I will use my excellent comprehension skills and divine my own meaning. Here is my version:

Dale,
Your straight forward question caught me off guard and I have not the cognitive power to answer. It was stupid of me to assume that you would do what I say without question. I am stupid. I will go away again and wait for the giant hand of the universe to rescue me instead of attempting to be a normal person.
Artboy.
PS I am emo.

Comments

Anonymous said…
This is obviously a new and exciting pastime, decyphering the ramblings of crazy people. I should do this to Mein Kampf.
If he doesn't know what he wants perhaps we should mail him "The Secret". Blessed by Oprah he can then email you:
Dale,
I am a stupid sucubus emo artboy who pathetically wants to keep in contact with you. I am also an oblivious fucktard.
(F)Artboy
17/09/2007, 23:30
DS said…
Ah yes, why not?

Perhaps I could also start having a little look at Mr Howard's speeches.
17/09/2007, 23:36
DS said…
But let us not be cruel. He is unwell and this is a man that I loved with my whole heart. I do not wish to be cruel, only to understand and perhaps poke a little fun along the way, just to keep on the chipper side of dire.

Actually I am feeling quite chipper. Miracles will never cease, the ghost of Artboy is leaving my head at last.
17/09/2007, 23:40
Tara Tartly said…
i loved an unwell man w/ all my heart once. damn, that's a mess to untangle yourself from.

i'd say your translation is spot on. nicely done.
18/09/2007, 13:34
DS said…
Thanks. It did take a little while though.
18/09/2007, 22:03
Anonymous said…
Yeah, I was being a bit harsh. Perhaps he was an unwitting sucubus, who drains your soul without realising it.
He is oblivious though.
And (F)Artboy sounds funnier.
19/09/2007, 23:07
DS said…
You are right. And it is good that you were being harsh. I like that you are being harsh on my behalf, it feels better that way.
19/09/2007, 23:13
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