I am guest blogging on Gempires! Hooray for the fabulous Gemma. Clickity click to transport yourself to there.
or if you prefer Tim Sinclair to Dale Slamma...
Episode 5: The Dog Ate My Serial.
The amazing tale of the restorative mouthwash tonic
Once upon a time a Dale was moping, sitting on her bed turning over and over the dull coin of her existence when The Spatula and Grizelda burst through her bedroom door shouting and laughing about mouthwash. Experimentation in the bathroom had been taking place.
Grizelda was drooling due to having numbed her mouth with the blue one. The Spatula was beaming and laughing having whitened her teeth with the white one. Both maidens were pleased with their individual minty freshness but puzzled by the choice made by the other. Which is your favourite mouthwash Dale they pleaded, the blue or the white?
[Oh good lord where is this going? I have no idea but it might help to think WWJD? Indeed what would Jimi (Hendrix) do in this situation? Taking wisdom from Jimi is a difficult but rewarding way of life.]
Ah Grizelda and The Spatula I think if you look inside your minds you will discover I know what I want but I just dont know how to, go about gettin it feeling sweet feeling,
drops from my fingers, fingers. But if you're still in doubt you can always just dance it out cause that's what Dale thinking about Jimi would do.
Grizelda was drooling due to having numbed her mouth with the blue one. The Spatula was beaming and laughing having whitened her teeth with the white one. Both maidens were pleased with their individual minty freshness but puzzled by the choice made by the other. Which is your favourite mouthwash Dale they pleaded, the blue or the white?
[Oh good lord where is this going? I have no idea but it might help to think WWJD? Indeed what would Jimi (Hendrix) do in this situation? Taking wisdom from Jimi is a difficult but rewarding way of life.]
Ah Grizelda and The Spatula I think if you look inside your minds you will discover I know what I want but I just dont know how to, go about gettin it feeling sweet feeling,
drops from my fingers, fingers. But if you're still in doubt you can always just dance it out cause that's what Dale thinking about Jimi would do.
I might have something in the works
But I'm not too sure what it is just yet. The odd feeling is slowly leaving, I am pushing against it as hard as I can. I am doing and thinking all the right things, I will not dig a hole to sit in this time.
Elliot phoned last night and we chatted happily, both concerned for the other as well as ourselves. I will phone him tomorrow and with each syllable push out the hollow places and return things to their proper place with me wishing that things were different, that he was not broken, but knowing at the same time that this is how it is and arriving at a place of acceptance. He is not the only man on this planet. He is not the only man on this planet capable of understanding me and in return being understood. There are good men that are whole and well and full of light and one of these days I am going to bump into one and say yes, you but before I speak the words he will lift a hand and place it gently on the side of my face.
This post is dedicated to kittens everywhere, especially those in New York State where the mean kitten killing god man lives.
Elliot phoned last night and we chatted happily, both concerned for the other as well as ourselves. I will phone him tomorrow and with each syllable push out the hollow places and return things to their proper place with me wishing that things were different, that he was not broken, but knowing at the same time that this is how it is and arriving at a place of acceptance. He is not the only man on this planet. He is not the only man on this planet capable of understanding me and in return being understood. There are good men that are whole and well and full of light and one of these days I am going to bump into one and say yes, you but before I speak the words he will lift a hand and place it gently on the side of my face.
This post is dedicated to kittens everywhere, especially those in New York State where the mean kitten killing god man lives.
Fuck it anyway
It looks like I have nothing to say. Nothing. Have used up allotted quota of words for lifetime. Its all mime from here on in.
A distant constellation dying in the corner of the sky
Dale: Oh dear what can the matter be?
Three old ladies stuck in the lavatory!
Dale: They'll be there from Monday to Saturday.
Oh dear what can the matter be atterby?
Dale: Well actually I think it is both complicated and ridiculously simple. Nature give us shapeless shapes, clouds and waves and flame.
Isn't that another Paul Simon lyric?
That's entirely beside the point.
There could be a copyright issue.
But I was already singing to myself you're the one, you broke my heart, you made me cry.
Who is the song about?
Oh, its just me. I don't need anybody else to sing about.
Three old ladies stuck in the lavatory!
Dale: They'll be there from Monday to Saturday.
Oh dear what can the matter be atterby?
Dale: Well actually I think it is both complicated and ridiculously simple. Nature give us shapeless shapes, clouds and waves and flame.
Isn't that another Paul Simon lyric?
That's entirely beside the point.
There could be a copyright issue.
But I was already singing to myself you're the one, you broke my heart, you made me cry.
Who is the song about?
Oh, its just me. I don't need anybody else to sing about.
Buskers: Madam Squeeze: $2
This photo wasn't sideways a second ago. Madam Squeeze has Europe in her bones, she is accomplished, she speaks to your heart and your feet. She is worth more than $2.
Maybe just maybe I am fine with this
Or not. I haven't decided, maybe we weren't doing it right. No, that's not what I mean. I am confused by the absence of confusion. Before, or rather towards the beginning it was decided between us that we could do this without hurting each other. I said I'm not looking for anything other than friendship and as I said it I was astonished at the clarity of my meaning. I am not looking for anything other friendship with this man, right now. I love him, this is beyond doubt but it is not the fickle love that comes and goes with haircuts or seismic shifts.
I am astonished to find myself calmly sitting here after leaving him on King St with the dreaded Mr X. I whizzed myself off to the aquarium to spend a few hours with friends staring at fish as it was too rainy for the zoo. I am astonished that today I have no more words.
I am astonished to find myself calmly sitting here after leaving him on King St with the dreaded Mr X. I whizzed myself off to the aquarium to spend a few hours with friends staring at fish as it was too rainy for the zoo. I am astonished that today I have no more words.
You don't bring me flowers
When not to fuck a buddy. I don't know the answer to this question because I just fucked one, a good one, one that I may or may not love. I feel odd, that is all. Maybe I am just tired. I need to think about this.
Reportage
Ha! Reporting reporting recording in my brain. Internal non-stop ticketape parade, here is where I throw it out the windows. Men smiled at me on the street tonight so I stopped and asked Grizelda if I had sauce on my face. I didn't so I asked her why they were smiling at me and she said "Der, they are smiling at you, not sauce on your face". Oh that's odd I thought.
Things were a whirl of exhaustion, there was dinner at The Italian Bowl, sorbet of course and a short black that made me feel like I was space walking. I followed some amazing looking pirate/cowboys for a few blocks trying to take a sneaky photo but I couldn't manage it in the end. I am suddenly too excited to keep typing. I am going to the zoo on Sunday. The zoo! Lions and tiger and bears!
I looked for Mr X but of course he is never to be bumped into when the urge hits. This is probably a good thing. Mr X bad. Good night.
Things were a whirl of exhaustion, there was dinner at The Italian Bowl, sorbet of course and a short black that made me feel like I was space walking. I followed some amazing looking pirate/cowboys for a few blocks trying to take a sneaky photo but I couldn't manage it in the end. I am suddenly too excited to keep typing. I am going to the zoo on Sunday. The zoo! Lions and tiger and bears!
I looked for Mr X but of course he is never to be bumped into when the urge hits. This is probably a good thing. Mr X bad. Good night.
My post from Liner Notes
Oh no Metro! My car was in need of inspection and having a pathological fear of the rogue mechanic in isolated industrial estates I elected the rooftop k-mart auto to do my inspecting. This is how I spent two hours of my life in a shopping centre navigating by smudges on tiles and pondering the nature of the labyrinth.
The residents of Newtown (Goths, Punks, Emos, Indie Kids, Hippies, just the usual) can ordinarily be found pushing their ironic granny shopping trolleys around in the Metro so imagine my surprise when I saw middle aged people in nicely ironed clothes wandering about buying things and smiling at each other saying things like Hello George how’s the wife? I don’t think I’ve ever been out and about before nine on a Saturday before, I didn’t realise I was time sharing my suburb with the middle classes.
I determined to read as much of the newspaper as possible, after a mere thirteen minutes navigating I located both a newsagent and a café. Brilliant until I tasted the coffee. Repellent. Utterly repellent and the very small cupcake (without pink icing) was $2.50 but any negative thoughts about coffee were soon chased away by the discovery of the words glioblastoma multiforme. It was love at first sight. These are the best new words I have discovered since vicissitudes and unitard.
Everything was brilliant until my space was invaded by people called Keith and Sharon. Keith was wearing high pants and an ironed tucked in polo shirt, Sharon was wearing floral jeans and a smock top, as if this wasn’t horrifying enough she managed to combine bad hair, cat wee perfume and teeth indistinguishable from gums. This is how I ended up reading the newspaper outside in the gutter just near the bus stop until the icy wind of death made it necessary to relocate to the park bench weirdly placed outside the pet shop.
Try as I might I could not disappear inside the newspaper. Millions of words came clambering at my eyeballs in articles about brain cancer and rock’n’roll and Post Modern Australian fiction but the Metro kept claiming my attention so I walked. I circumnavigated the entire shopping centre five times searching for meaning under fluorescent lights, this is not something I am going to recommend.
The Metro turned out to be unplottable, every corner delivered me somewhere I thought was five minutes from now. It seems the architects have been studying their myth and history. Imagine, a labyrinth in my very own neighbourhood, how very unexpected. I think I’m going stick with walking the streets and pondering on corners in the electric daylight from now on. In a strange twist of events it seems it was the Flaneur that conquered the Minotaur.
The residents of Newtown (Goths, Punks, Emos, Indie Kids, Hippies, just the usual) can ordinarily be found pushing their ironic granny shopping trolleys around in the Metro so imagine my surprise when I saw middle aged people in nicely ironed clothes wandering about buying things and smiling at each other saying things like Hello George how’s the wife? I don’t think I’ve ever been out and about before nine on a Saturday before, I didn’t realise I was time sharing my suburb with the middle classes.
I determined to read as much of the newspaper as possible, after a mere thirteen minutes navigating I located both a newsagent and a café. Brilliant until I tasted the coffee. Repellent. Utterly repellent and the very small cupcake (without pink icing) was $2.50 but any negative thoughts about coffee were soon chased away by the discovery of the words glioblastoma multiforme. It was love at first sight. These are the best new words I have discovered since vicissitudes and unitard.
Everything was brilliant until my space was invaded by people called Keith and Sharon. Keith was wearing high pants and an ironed tucked in polo shirt, Sharon was wearing floral jeans and a smock top, as if this wasn’t horrifying enough she managed to combine bad hair, cat wee perfume and teeth indistinguishable from gums. This is how I ended up reading the newspaper outside in the gutter just near the bus stop until the icy wind of death made it necessary to relocate to the park bench weirdly placed outside the pet shop.
Try as I might I could not disappear inside the newspaper. Millions of words came clambering at my eyeballs in articles about brain cancer and rock’n’roll and Post Modern Australian fiction but the Metro kept claiming my attention so I walked. I circumnavigated the entire shopping centre five times searching for meaning under fluorescent lights, this is not something I am going to recommend.
The Metro turned out to be unplottable, every corner delivered me somewhere I thought was five minutes from now. It seems the architects have been studying their myth and history. Imagine, a labyrinth in my very own neighbourhood, how very unexpected. I think I’m going stick with walking the streets and pondering on corners in the electric daylight from now on. In a strange twist of events it seems it was the Flaneur that conquered the Minotaur.
I am in love with this painting
Burrel Parade by Luis Martinez. The artist, who is now my 'friend' on Fspazbook tells me he has moved to Melbourne. Damn that city. Too many people I might like to talk to move there, first it was the tidal pull east into the city and now that I am here everybody has gone south. I was never very good on my cardinal points.
I've just showed this painting to Robert and he says he doesn't get it, says it leaves him cold and this is making me think. This is a map of how I am beginning to think about this painting and Luis's other work - my manuscript, Jeffrey Smart, my manuscript, bare feet on hot concrete in the dying light, a syncopated echoing of sprinklers. Place and displacement, isolation and community. Western Fucking Sydney.
I'll be back once I've done some thinking but in the meantime what do you think?
I've just showed this painting to Robert and he says he doesn't get it, says it leaves him cold and this is making me think. This is a map of how I am beginning to think about this painting and Luis's other work - my manuscript, Jeffrey Smart, my manuscript, bare feet on hot concrete in the dying light, a syncopated echoing of sprinklers. Place and displacement, isolation and community. Western Fucking Sydney.
I'll be back once I've done some thinking but in the meantime what do you think?
Roll of the dice
Well you win some and others.... As per Creamboy's instructions I have turned my life (partially) over to the roll of the dice. Today as I was pondering about vegans and their dire lack of B12 I took a gamble and now I am locked into a vegan experiment.
I will become a temporary vegan for two weeks commencing Saturday the 1st of September. What I need is a volunteer to make me a meal/shopping plan because I am a spaz an example of this is last night I was exhausted and after I fed the cat I ate three spoonfuls of nutella out of the jar and declared that dinner. So Creamboy and his rampant vegans I'm looking to you for clear ideas on what the hell to eat for two weeks otherwise it'll be toast, sorbet and coffee. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going back to my roast beef sandwich.
I will become a temporary vegan for two weeks commencing Saturday the 1st of September. What I need is a volunteer to make me a meal/shopping plan because I am a spaz an example of this is last night I was exhausted and after I fed the cat I ate three spoonfuls of nutella out of the jar and declared that dinner. So Creamboy and his rampant vegans I'm looking to you for clear ideas on what the hell to eat for two weeks otherwise it'll be toast, sorbet and coffee. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going back to my roast beef sandwich.
Oooh exciting
I am both here and in Liner Notes as a super special double Dale one day only deal. Please note the Liner Notes guest post is not the Marrickville Metro essay but the notes for the idea of it, sorry Gemma.
Oh and super thanks to NWJR for letting me invade his blog, which is written in Upstate New York, that's very exciting. I wish I was in Upstate New York. Is Upstate meant to be one word? I don't know I 'm just rambling again.
Oh and super thanks to NWJR for letting me invade his blog, which is written in Upstate New York, that's very exciting. I wish I was in Upstate New York. Is Upstate meant to be one word? I don't know I 'm just rambling again.
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