Thursday, 12 May 2011

Pancake Mozart surprises self with super glue in hair

It occurred to me this morning, half way through supergluing a ceramic toast rack back together, that the life a retired and not too elderly gentleman would suit me enormously. Before 9am this morning I had eaten breakfast at the kitchen table whilst listening to classical fm, had one and a half cups of tea, read two chapters of a natural history book about earth winds and decided I was very happy indeed.

There might be something significantly wonderful about purposeful pottering interspersed with civilised activities such as sitting at the table to have a cup of tea. It has been a long time since I was civilised enough to eat breakfast, with a knife and fork, sitting at the table. I usually forage for food in the cupboard or fridge and eat it walking down the hallway, or standing at the kitchen sink staring idly into the middle distance.

I was going to light a fire in the library and work at my manuscript in there for the rest of the morning, with a tray for tea, until I remembered that I have run out of firewood and the work table in the library was replaced by a drum kit some time ago. This was the first clue that my life was not as lovely as the early morning made me believe.

Shortly after remembering about the firewood I discovered an alarming amount of super glue in my hair. It occurred to me that I had other more boring things to pursue than making notes on earth winds for my manuscript such as preparing for a job interview on Monday, pushing PAN issue 2 to print, cleaning out the cat litter box and applying for more jobs so as not to rely to much on Monday's interview. Boring. Not only boring but nothing like the orderly life of a retired gentleman, or retired colonel, or retired sea captain. Nothing like it at all.

At least I have the memory of two unsullied hours of what life might be like, sunlit and calm with clear acres set out sparse and free for ordering ideas, objects and music upon for no other purpose than just for me.


TimT said...

Would you be an old man with a beard, some stubble, or clean shaven? Details are important.

TimT said...

Word to the wise: a crumbling wooden part of the house can be broken up and used as firewood. It's also an excellent way of putting china cabinets to good use. (See the excellent passage in Lenny Lower's novel 'Here's Luck' for an example of this principle in action.)

DS said...

I am not sure about the facial hair. I haven't much experience with either growing or shaving it. I suppose it would depend upon which elderly gentleman I was. A sea captain would have a beard, a colonel mutton chops or a giant moustache but a non-seagoing or military man might have a hint of silver stubble at an early hour of the morning.

The Peach is rather crumbly, it would be quite easy to burn part of it in the fireplace. Although that idea is rather icky, its rather cannibalistic don't you think?

TimT said...

Our comments have gone, and I can't remember too much about them, but I'm sure they were very witty. Much wittier than anything I could come up with now.

In Memory of the Unknown Comments, fallen in the Great Blogger Battle of 2011. Lest we forget.

DS said...

Ah yes, the Great Blogger Battle of 2011 in which I lost comments, posts, design changes and became annoyed. Lest we forget.