Hey Creamboy! The verb is implied, this has nothing to do with this post.

I didn't steal the gloves so much as forget to remind Superman that he had left them out the front of The Peach, on my hands. I was at first skeptical about the goodness of fingerless gloves that come in a packet from Big W. When Superman told me over the phone that he was deriving great pleasure from making a fist wearing the gloves then looking at the fist I thought I might like to have a go at that until I heard his mother say in the background "they look like something an eight year old girl might wear". Superman's mother gives me lemons from her tree, I wonder if she has any plastic combs. Last weekend I discovered plastic combs.

Plastic combs can come in a packet containing many combs. Combs can be left on The Peach Deck for a week then admirably comb your hair in the same way they did when you took the comb outside to show everybody at Pie Day your new plastic comb. Plastic combs are not very expensive. I bought five plastic combs, one of them tortoiseshell look, for less than three dollars. It is interesting to note that Superman does not wish to hang a picture of himself on the spare picture hook in Janet's pie shop in Newtown, this has nothing to do with plastic combs.

Combs can sometimes get stuck in your hair if your hair is tangly, this is why there are several combs in one packet. If a comb becomes stuck in your hair simply pick up a different comb and comb another part of your head, the stuck comb will eventually fall out, if the stuck comb falls into a toilet in the cafe you can retrieve the comb then wash both hands and comb using something a bit germ killy. It is best to do this before returning to your banana bread and coffee.

I like plastic combs. A plastic comb can fit in your wallet for handy storage. A plastic comb can be used to comb both your hair and your cat. Ah now, I was talking about fingerless gloves. I was skeptical about them until Superman demonstrated the usefulness of them. Superman can eat food, brush his teeth, roll a cigarette, play the guitar, comb his hair, make a nice cup of tea, pat the cat, play a game with zombies in it, toast an english muffin, tell me to stop being stupid, buy a tube of pawpaw ointment, look at pies, watch a band, chase a rat, dance in a dangerous fashion, wear my glasses, pose for a photo and type emails whilst wearing fingerless gloves. It was a fantastic demonstration of the goodness of gloves. Unfortunately for Superman I am now wearing his gloves. I like to wear them while I stash my plastic combs in handy locations around the house. Superman does not like plastic combs.

Comments

Gemnastics said…
i am a big fan of fingerless gloves however i remove them to wipe my bottom.
DS said…
Ah, Superman did not demonstrate wiping his bottom, that must be because he takes the gloves off for that. Mystery solved. How did Spencer and Madam Squeeze go with their visit to The Hive?
cath said…
One can also type at a computer wearing hobo-gloves. Thus demonstrated. Have not attempted toilet activities with said items in situ and probably wont.
DS said…
Today I did a wee wearing whilst wearing Superman's gloves but then I thought I really should take these off before I begin wiping, just to be polite.
Gemnastics said…
yes, it would be impolite to return fannied gloves. recently after one of the hive bbqs the next time i wore my gloves they smelled a bit funny, kind of sour. i could not escape the smell, it was there every time i brought my hand to my face. i was worried i had not taken the gloves off when i went to the loo, being drunk and all.

later i remembered i had chopped onions while wearing the gloves. when i realised this the smell became very much like onion and not at all like urine and i was relieved. i then laundered the gloves.

spencer and madam squeeze were warm and comfy. they bought me lemon cheesecake which was so yummy. i gave them my spare key which alan keeps - the next day i hadn't had time to return it to alan so it was inside. mel is in malaysia. i chose this day to lock myself out for the first time. with the help of alan i broke in through the loungeroom window.
DS said…
Oh dear, that seems to be the way with keys. I never need them when I have them. I wish I had some cake. I sent myself to bed without dinner and now I am starting to feel hungry. I do hope Mel has a lovely time. It is Spencer's birthday tomorrow, I am trying very hard to think of a nice present.
Anonymous said…
I got you a plastic comb in Bangkok.