Strong as a helicopter

Music is trying to kill me using the television, it has been for some time now. I never know when it is safe, what channels to avoid, I can't even watch old episodes of Buffy without the cold fist of fear in my heart. At first I thought capitalism was watching me, tracing my every step, you see we haven't always had the best relationship. Two weeks ago I spent an entire Saturday afternoon waiting on the corner to take a photo of a car. I see it all the time this car, the shiny Saab with a giant home made sticker of a lemon taped to the side. I wanted to photograph the car and now television is trying to kill me.

It seemed so obvious, Saab were wreaking their revenge using television as the medium with good old capitalism calling the shots. You see television doesn't just pull a gun and try to shoot me, its using this ad. I've tried everything, I watched it over and over and over again to try and build some immunity. It didn't work and I became desperate.

I was talking to Superman on the phone, I was telling him about my immunity building advertisement watching, told him that television was trying to kill me and you know what, he was kind of super about it. Robert, who is generally the model of a modern major miracle, thinks I am mental (about this), everyone else points out the obvious overdone literal interpretation of the song or just rolls their eyes but Superman had an idea. He said, its the song, the song and her voice, its simple and you believe her.

I think he might be right but I still haven't figured out a way to stop that goddamned fist of fear or the hooks that pull me from my chair to my knees while my heart is blackhole screaming into every silent night. I might need to buy a gun. I'm gonna wear a white jumpsuit and shoot the television.