Break your your fast bitches

on
I'm thinking about pitching a new range of breakfast cereals to Sanitarium, I'll say "Yeah so I know you're all religious and shit but you should make these and give me money". That will be my pitch.

Captain Fuck Off
A surly cereal for cynical people
Bacon flavoured coffee cereal with a minty aftertaste

Captain Wow
The firm poo bran cereal you've been waiting for
Crunchtastic bran stuff will make you shit right


In other news paradise is just exactly like where you are now only much much better.


Comments

NWJR said…
I would buy "Captain Fuckoff" in a heartbeat.

I'm still working on that letter. I want it to be perfect.
02/06/2008, 03:29
DS said…
Ah good, that's two people now who would purchase my cereal, at least once.

I think it is better to send an imperfect letter than to not send any letter at all. I am not known for my patience.
02/06/2008, 13:35
karen said…
I think I need a serving of both. Will Captain Wow be promoted by Derryn Hinch?
04/06/2008, 13:03
DS said…
Hmmmm. Let me think. It might be best if Superman and I (Superman is the co-inventor of Captain Wow) dress up in Derryn Hinch outfits, ride tiny tricycles down a hill whilst calling each other bitches then vomit into a bin near a picnic table. Yes. That would be the best ad for Captain Wow. Superman has already written a jingle and it is a very good jingle, it has the word poo in it.
04/06/2008, 13:56
Gemnastics said…
all good jingles contain some variation of the word poo, or an inference of such.
04/06/2008, 15:10
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