Sorry

on
If I was a speech writer for the Prime Minister then today is the day I would officially shit my pants. I've been reading speeches from past Prime Ministers, Presidents and Monarchs. If you are going to say sorry for over 200 years of unbelievable horribleness of every single kind to the entire Aboriginal nation then you better make it a good sorry. Like I said if I was the one drafting the speech for tomorrow I would be wearing multi-layered disposable absorbent pants. I'm imagining that the pants would operate automatically in the manner of shark's teeth in the way that the old used pants simply come off and and a new layer of pants moves effortlessly forward to take the place of the older used pants. This is a very sensible system and whoever invented the shark should be commended. I myself invented the cow and more recently the goat.

Comments

Dan said…
That would mean you would have to shit around the closest layer and somehow manage to make the poo magically catch in the out most layer. I blame science.
12/02/2008, 11:29
DS said…
No, no. A shark is able to use and shed the layer if teeth inside in its mouth. In the same way the speech writer will be able to use the inner layer of pants.
12/02/2008, 12:46
TimT said…
Apparently the Rudder is writing it himself. But that's okay, he's going to make extra specially sure the Government won't have to pay anything in compensation or stuff.

But I'm a tad cynical about this whole affair. Pardonnez moi, and all that.
12/02/2008, 13:05
Alexis, Baron von Harlot said…
I would like there to be compensation. Not because I think compensation compensates, but because it's a symbol of taking this seriously, putting our money where our mouth is. Our government makes compensation payments to the victims of things it had nothing to do with; here is something it (the government, in its capacity as an ongoing national institution) has had something to do with, a lot to do with, and 25 billion dollars or so would be some measure of its, our sincerity.
12/02/2008, 15:54
Anonymous said…
I think that compensation would be useful in more than a symbolic way.
12/02/2008, 15:59
Dan said…
That would mean you would have to temporarily wallow in your own filth. Small price to pay I guess.
12/02/2008, 17:09
Anonymous said…
I guess if you were to say to John Howard, "Sorry your grandmother is dead" , he would then call the police and have you charged with murder. Disappointing that for the previous government to acknowledge sorrow was thought to be perceived to be an admission of guilt.
If anyone can get a hold of it, I recommend watching "Babakiueria", its a reverse role satire where Aborigines discover Australia, meet some white families having a BBQ and ask, "What do you call this place?" - "Its the barbeque area." - "Babakiueria?". I think John Howard should be forced to watch it.
12/02/2008, 17:16
DS said…
Shark pants are instant pants. Instant! They are good, not bad.
12/02/2008, 18:50
Anonymous said…
Of course to be fair Howard did extend his personal sorrow that this had happened, but didn't do the apology in parliament, ala Wudd.
And shark pants would be an instant hit in the disability industry. And in aged care. Any industry where people tend to have little control over their bowels.
12/02/2008, 20:44
Shelley said…
It is an unenviable task, isn't it? And then he has to sound sincere.

I think we're all justifiably cynical - all things political inspire cynicism these days - but I don't think that lessens the need for this symbolic act. Possibly, it is sometimes better to let goodwill and good intent win over cynicism. Hope, you know? Ah, fuck it, Belongum said it better.
12/02/2008, 21:19
DS said…
Yes. Hope. I am not cynical about this.
12/02/2008, 21:20
Shelley said…
I'm not cynical about this either which is odd given how cynical I usually am.
12/02/2008, 21:33
DS said…
I am glad to hear that.
12/02/2008, 22:20
Anonymous said…
Wow, a lot of use of the word cynical. Doesn't it come from the Greek word for dog, and a Cynic is "dog-like" - for example Diogenes sleeping on the street, crapping in public and eating raw meat?
To put this into perspective, take the above quote:
"I'm not cynical about this either which is odd given how cynical I usually am." Which could mean:
"I'm not dog-like about this either which is odd given how dog-like I usually am."
Its funny how the English language has developed.
12/02/2008, 22:45
Shelley said…
Well, I'm blushing now, aren't I?
12/02/2008, 22:58
Anonymous said…
Well according to Diogenes, even masturbating in public isn't worth blushing over. He reportedly said afterwards that he wished hunger could be satisfied in the same way, by just rubbing his belly.
He has a very good point but is still a weirdo.
13/02/2008, 08:05
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