Smut meme or I am so sorry that this is what is on my blog please direct all complaints to someone else as I already feel a bit low tonight becuase
you see I lost something this evening. I don't even know what it was. I wasn't able to hold it in my hands. I was too busy battoning hatches and not saying words out loud. I made a cast of myself and held it out in front waving its stupid plaster arms. I've become a marionette fortress good against the traitor within but open to flights of arrows.
Rups has tagged me for the second time. I did not complete my first tagging mission as I generally prefer to be smutty in person than on paper (or screen) but if I wasn't doing this right now I would be listening to the mixtape Martin sent me and indulging in some first class self pity. I am a little sad. I am sitting on the bed sticking my fingers into the space where possibility sat. It is not terminal but my hands are in my hair and my chin is cast down at an angle. My elbows are wide and careless. My left foot is tucked under my right ankle. My skin forgets so easily that it is skin.
So this Meme ...
You're welcome to post it on your blogs. You must call it the Smut Meme, you must link to me in the beginning paragraph, and you must tag 2 people, and link to them as well. Oh, and you must post this little blurb of instructions at the beginning, as has been done here.
1. Chocolate or Whipped Cream:
No. I firmly believe that things can be washed but I do not like to wash them in the middle of the night. I recently poured wine over a man and then licked it off and that is messy enough for me. I have lovely sheets.
2. Leather or PVC:
I generally prefer to own leather shoes. They are more comfortable for your feet and I find they breathe nicely and do not crack as easily. It is unfortunate that they can not be made shiny with bathroom cleaning spray.
3. Outdoor Sex or Indoor Sex:
In summer a screened veranda is ideal. The mozzies will not bite but there is an excellent freshening breeze. In winter outside is fine if there are adequate blankets and a fire. These are things that I have imagined because mostly inside is more convenient and local. I have never lived in a house with a screened veranda.
4. In the Jacuzzi or In Bed?
What the hell is a jacuzzi? Is that the same as a spa? Spas are terrible for fucking. A woman needs traction not floatation.
5. Bad Sex or No Sex:
Seeing as I will most likely never have sex again this question is not relevant, not relevant at all. The tealeaves have spoken.
6. Dominate or Be Dominated:
Well now. I don't know about that. Rups seems to think that it is all an illusion anyway.
7. Thigh highs or Bodystocking:
Unitard! I love to say the word unitard. Does anybody own a unitard?
8. Fast or Slow:
Doesn't matter. The tealeaves those cursed tealeaves.
9. Rough or Gentle:
In my imagination there is no hesitation, we walk together hand in hand. I'm dreaming. Sorry about that I seem to have been communing with the ghost of Kylie Minogue. Is she dead? No. Oh, sorry. I am glad she is not dead because I would not like to see ads on telly for best of Kylie albums, they would be very irritating.
10. Bite or Suck:
Are we still talking about chocolate and whipped cream because I need to tell you that I'm lactose intolerant. This is important because of the bloating and the sick making. Very bad to have lactose. Very bad indeed. When I invented the cow I had no idea that it would produce a substance poisonous to humans. This is the first animal that I invented. I was much better with the goat.
11. Role play or Reality:
Oh come on now these questions are just getting annoying.
12. Dirty Talking or Dirty Talking To:
Once or twice a man successfully managed the dirty style of talking or was it two different men. Wait I think it was two different men on different occasions. One was very very drunk.
13. Edible panties or No Panties:
Panties is an American word. I prefer the words knickers or underpants.
14. Spanking paddle or Bare-handed:
Paddle? What exactly is a paddle? Are we talking canoe paddle? Surely that would put holes in the ceiling.
15. Landing Strip or Kojak:
What? Oh. I see. I do not like a man that over-maintains.
16. Multiple Sessions or One Good Fuck:
This a bone of contention in The Peach. We are hoping to one day have a party funded by fifty cent pieces in a jar. If a Peachette has sex they put fifty cents in the jar but unfortunately we have been unable to work how many fifty cents per go. Does it count as a new fifty cents if you have a cigarette break?
17. Moaning or Screaming:
Is this question really asking if you prefer to shag zombies or zombie victims? This is a very odd question. Once I watched a movie called "Shawn of the Dead" which contained zombies and zombie victims who then turned into zombies so I'm sure you can understand my confusion.
18. Older Men or Young Men:
Ah now. I had thought it was younger men but I was mistaken but I could be mistaken now. Perhaps I had better just have a go at a few different ones and get back to you when I'm in a more informed position.
19. Threeway or No Way:
I would be perfectly happy to discover just one person on planet earth that would like to have a go at shagging me. Surely there must be one, somewhere out there beneath the rancid smog haze someone's thinking of me. Well probably not actually. Nope. No one at all.
20. Swing or No Swinging:
I am fairly certain that swinging requires a partner. I am a solo Dale alone in the universe, just me and the cat and a kite I once bought for someone else but never gave to them. I also have small statue of a tiger, it is very small, about five centimetres. It reminds of being small.
I suppose I had better tag people so that the blog fairy of doom does not cast further doom upon me. I tag Creamboy and Martin.
Rups has tagged me for the second time. I did not complete my first tagging mission as I generally prefer to be smutty in person than on paper (or screen) but if I wasn't doing this right now I would be listening to the mixtape Martin sent me and indulging in some first class self pity. I am a little sad. I am sitting on the bed sticking my fingers into the space where possibility sat. It is not terminal but my hands are in my hair and my chin is cast down at an angle. My elbows are wide and careless. My left foot is tucked under my right ankle. My skin forgets so easily that it is skin.
So this Meme ...
You're welcome to post it on your blogs. You must call it the Smut Meme, you must link to me in the beginning paragraph, and you must tag 2 people, and link to them as well. Oh, and you must post this little blurb of instructions at the beginning, as has been done here.
1. Chocolate or Whipped Cream:
No. I firmly believe that things can be washed but I do not like to wash them in the middle of the night. I recently poured wine over a man and then licked it off and that is messy enough for me. I have lovely sheets.
2. Leather or PVC:
I generally prefer to own leather shoes. They are more comfortable for your feet and I find they breathe nicely and do not crack as easily. It is unfortunate that they can not be made shiny with bathroom cleaning spray.
3. Outdoor Sex or Indoor Sex:
In summer a screened veranda is ideal. The mozzies will not bite but there is an excellent freshening breeze. In winter outside is fine if there are adequate blankets and a fire. These are things that I have imagined because mostly inside is more convenient and local. I have never lived in a house with a screened veranda.
4. In the Jacuzzi or In Bed?
What the hell is a jacuzzi? Is that the same as a spa? Spas are terrible for fucking. A woman needs traction not floatation.
5. Bad Sex or No Sex:
Seeing as I will most likely never have sex again this question is not relevant, not relevant at all. The tealeaves have spoken.
6. Dominate or Be Dominated:
Well now. I don't know about that. Rups seems to think that it is all an illusion anyway.
7. Thigh highs or Bodystocking:
Unitard! I love to say the word unitard. Does anybody own a unitard?
8. Fast or Slow:
Doesn't matter. The tealeaves those cursed tealeaves.
9. Rough or Gentle:
In my imagination there is no hesitation, we walk together hand in hand. I'm dreaming. Sorry about that I seem to have been communing with the ghost of Kylie Minogue. Is she dead? No. Oh, sorry. I am glad she is not dead because I would not like to see ads on telly for best of Kylie albums, they would be very irritating.
10. Bite or Suck:
Are we still talking about chocolate and whipped cream because I need to tell you that I'm lactose intolerant. This is important because of the bloating and the sick making. Very bad to have lactose. Very bad indeed. When I invented the cow I had no idea that it would produce a substance poisonous to humans. This is the first animal that I invented. I was much better with the goat.
11. Role play or Reality:
Oh come on now these questions are just getting annoying.
12. Dirty Talking or Dirty Talking To:
Once or twice a man successfully managed the dirty style of talking or was it two different men. Wait I think it was two different men on different occasions. One was very very drunk.
13. Edible panties or No Panties:
Panties is an American word. I prefer the words knickers or underpants.
14. Spanking paddle or Bare-handed:
Paddle? What exactly is a paddle? Are we talking canoe paddle? Surely that would put holes in the ceiling.
15. Landing Strip or Kojak:
What? Oh. I see. I do not like a man that over-maintains.
16. Multiple Sessions or One Good Fuck:
This a bone of contention in The Peach. We are hoping to one day have a party funded by fifty cent pieces in a jar. If a Peachette has sex they put fifty cents in the jar but unfortunately we have been unable to work how many fifty cents per go. Does it count as a new fifty cents if you have a cigarette break?
17. Moaning or Screaming:
Is this question really asking if you prefer to shag zombies or zombie victims? This is a very odd question. Once I watched a movie called "Shawn of the Dead" which contained zombies and zombie victims who then turned into zombies so I'm sure you can understand my confusion.
18. Older Men or Young Men:
Ah now. I had thought it was younger men but I was mistaken but I could be mistaken now. Perhaps I had better just have a go at a few different ones and get back to you when I'm in a more informed position.
19. Threeway or No Way:
I would be perfectly happy to discover just one person on planet earth that would like to have a go at shagging me. Surely there must be one, somewhere out there beneath the rancid smog haze someone's thinking of me. Well probably not actually. Nope. No one at all.
20. Swing or No Swinging:
I am fairly certain that swinging requires a partner. I am a solo Dale alone in the universe, just me and the cat and a kite I once bought for someone else but never gave to them. I also have small statue of a tiger, it is very small, about five centimetres. It reminds of being small.
I suppose I had better tag people so that the blog fairy of doom does not cast further doom upon me. I tag Creamboy and Martin.
Comments
Also, you cannot read tea-leaves to save your life, and you know it.
I hope this Meme did not tip you into a kennel of Blonde Dogs!
xo Rups
i quite prefer the word "knickers" myself, as well.
xo