Goddamnitmaverick

I am anti antibiotics right now. After three courses of the hateful cure I have been cursed. I am suffering the full range of unwanted side effects, apart obviously from weird instant death which I understand is a problem for some poor souls.

I have had marvellous dioarrhea, the kind that is surprisingly like having a handy internal fire hose that pumps fluid out your anus at high speed, no lumps. Fortunately the probiotic tablets seem to have helped not only with the fire hose but with the excellent urge to vomit. However the plague then continued with lady issues of the itchy variety and at first I wasn't too fussed because I have always wanted to try taking one tablet once just to see if it worked but have not had the opportunity to until now.

My excitement at taking one tablet once enabled me to march straight up to the pharmacist and tell him my problem directly. I am sure he has people coming up to him and declaring all sorts of horrid and personal malfunctions on a daily basis but for me it was a novel experience. What I was not expecting was the very high price of the one tablet, seeing as I had just filled a prescription for stupidly expensive antibiotics, the third one, and paid fifty eight million dollars for the only available probiotic I was a little dismayed. My last trip to the chemist was $80, that was on Saturday and I have been operating on $1 a day since then. Tomorrow is pay day and if I felt well enough I would do a little dance.

I was meant to go back to the doctor if lump 1 hadn't entirely disappeared by yesterday but I didn't go. I think the lump has gone, its a bit hard to tell, it seems if you poke your fingers into your neck that there are lots of things in there. So I'm not entirely sure if the lump is gone but I am very sure that I'm not taking anymore stinky sick-making tablets.

Comments

Gemnastics said…
oh my god, that is just fucking awful.
Not so long ago I taught this poem, by Fr. Gerard Manley Hopkins, to a buncha eager young minds of the second year arts student variety:

Nothing is so beautiful as spring—
When weeds, in wheels, shoot long and lovely and lush;
Thrush’s eggs look little low heavens, and thrush
Through the echoing timber does so rinse and wring
The ear, it strikes like lightnings to hear him sing;
The glassy peartree leaves and blooms, they brush
The descending blue; that blue is all in a rush
With richness; the racing lambs too have fair their fling.

What is all this juice and all this joy?
A strain of the earth’s sweet being in the beginning
In Eden garden.—Have, get, before it cloy,
Before it cloud, Christ, lord, and sour with sinning,
Innocent mind and Mayday in girl and boy,
Most, O maid’s child, thy choice and worthy the winning


Approximately 80% of said minds knew the thrush solely in its yeasticular incarnation. There's a lot of young lasses taking one tablet just once (and/or the three-day course of Canesten).

Good health to you.
DS said…
Puts a whole new spin on many a poem. Oh dear.
Anonymous said…
Probiotics are my no means considered necessary by the TGA, therefore are not subsidised like antibiotics are. Hence price+++.