The fucking doctor is a shithead. I have been issued the following orders:
no exercise (not even walking)
no going out at night
no being in a crowd of people
Those are stupid orders. What kind of a person does not walk around at night in crowds, certainly not people who live in Newtown. So as a kind of vengeance I obeyed all orders by sitting in the house and watching a video whilst eating turkish bread with hommous and chilli followed by pizza, then chocolates with popcorn and some cola. Now I feel very sick indeed. Take that doctor. Following doctor's orders can sometimes make you feel very ill and sorry that you followed them.
The doctor informs me that my immune system is up the shit, he said he could give me more antibiotics (evil pills of doom) but they probably won't work as I just keep getting different viruses. He said I must rest, I must not exert myself, I must eat lots of garlic and ginger and take echinacea tablets. I just have to wait this one out. I am not known for my patience.
I am supposed to go to a film festival tomorrow, this would involve walking, being out at night and being in a crowd. I desperately want to go but I mustn't. All evening, in between rewinding the video to watch David Bowie sing the Dance Magic song one more time, I have been meaning to telephone Snuffbox Films and say that thank you very much for sorting out an invitation for me to go and being ever so nice to let me write something about it and put it on your excellent film blog but I can't go as my immune system is up the shit. I thought about it but I didn't do it. I'm trying to work out a devious plan for going.
I could wrap myself in foil and wear a helmet, I could wear a jumpsuit over a unitard, I could grind echinacea tablets into powder and perform circular breathing whilst wearing a shower cap. All of these are excellent ideas but their usefulness may be limited to novelty. I shall write an email and send it, it is too late for telephoning now. I feel quite awful and like a big pain for pulling out so close to the event. Minus ten professor points for me but just before I send the email I might watch this one more time.
no exercise (not even walking)
no going out at night
no being in a crowd of people
Those are stupid orders. What kind of a person does not walk around at night in crowds, certainly not people who live in Newtown. So as a kind of vengeance I obeyed all orders by sitting in the house and watching a video whilst eating turkish bread with hommous and chilli followed by pizza, then chocolates with popcorn and some cola. Now I feel very sick indeed. Take that doctor. Following doctor's orders can sometimes make you feel very ill and sorry that you followed them.
The doctor informs me that my immune system is up the shit, he said he could give me more antibiotics (evil pills of doom) but they probably won't work as I just keep getting different viruses. He said I must rest, I must not exert myself, I must eat lots of garlic and ginger and take echinacea tablets. I just have to wait this one out. I am not known for my patience.
I am supposed to go to a film festival tomorrow, this would involve walking, being out at night and being in a crowd. I desperately want to go but I mustn't. All evening, in between rewinding the video to watch David Bowie sing the Dance Magic song one more time, I have been meaning to telephone Snuffbox Films and say that thank you very much for sorting out an invitation for me to go and being ever so nice to let me write something about it and put it on your excellent film blog but I can't go as my immune system is up the shit. I thought about it but I didn't do it. I'm trying to work out a devious plan for going.
I could wrap myself in foil and wear a helmet, I could wear a jumpsuit over a unitard, I could grind echinacea tablets into powder and perform circular breathing whilst wearing a shower cap. All of these are excellent ideas but their usefulness may be limited to novelty. I shall write an email and send it, it is too late for telephoning now. I feel quite awful and like a big pain for pulling out so close to the event. Minus ten professor points for me but just before I send the email I might watch this one more time.
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I can never watch Jennifer Connelly now without thinking of her getting it up the bum with a double-ended dildo. Sigh.
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