Is anybody out there?
I find it difficult to believe that there is. I have lost my imagination. I am hoping this is temporary.
It was a foolish hope, my imagination is back with a vengeance. I go to the doctor's for my test results in the morning. Elliot sent a message saying "Fortune favours the Rock", which is nice because he thinks that I am Rock! but I don't know about that, he used to be very Rock and now he lives in rehab. Still he's much better off being unRock but I digress, in the last half an hour I have discovered that I have lost most feeling in the tip of my left ring finger, the fingerprintitis seems to be spreading to the middle finger and horrifyingly the nail feels like it is coming loose from one finger. The lump in my neck is shrinking but is still there.
Today I sat all day and wept whilst watching movies. That was not ideal. I tried several times to do something but failed miserably. I don't know if its after-Elliot-shock or the mystery illness or both. I am exhausted, not a bored I didn't do anything all day exhausted but the kind of tired that climbs from bone to bone.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm no doctor, to my shame, but I don't think this fingerprintitis is as trivial as I first thought, I don't know if its connected to the lump. I don't know if I have made a terrible mistake. I tried to talk to myself, I tried to say that I knew that staying at home by myself day after day would start to get to me but that I could handle it but it didn't work. I feel like parts of me have been replaced with replicas made of cardboard and paint. I'm sitting here colouring in a new heart with my textas. Its only prudent to keep spare parts, just in case.
I find it difficult to believe that there is. I have lost my imagination. I am hoping this is temporary.
It was a foolish hope, my imagination is back with a vengeance. I go to the doctor's for my test results in the morning. Elliot sent a message saying "Fortune favours the Rock", which is nice because he thinks that I am Rock! but I don't know about that, he used to be very Rock and now he lives in rehab. Still he's much better off being unRock but I digress, in the last half an hour I have discovered that I have lost most feeling in the tip of my left ring finger, the fingerprintitis seems to be spreading to the middle finger and horrifyingly the nail feels like it is coming loose from one finger. The lump in my neck is shrinking but is still there.
Today I sat all day and wept whilst watching movies. That was not ideal. I tried several times to do something but failed miserably. I don't know if its after-Elliot-shock or the mystery illness or both. I am exhausted, not a bored I didn't do anything all day exhausted but the kind of tired that climbs from bone to bone.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm no doctor, to my shame, but I don't think this fingerprintitis is as trivial as I first thought, I don't know if its connected to the lump. I don't know if I have made a terrible mistake. I tried to talk to myself, I tried to say that I knew that staying at home by myself day after day would start to get to me but that I could handle it but it didn't work. I feel like parts of me have been replaced with replicas made of cardboard and paint. I'm sitting here colouring in a new heart with my textas. Its only prudent to keep spare parts, just in case.
Comments
Rups :) xo
So maybe there is if I have one no and one yes.
*Her Dale's Australian Ship.
Also I am here or who have you been speaking to on the phone?? Curiouser and curiouser.