I did it. I did it with only the occasional and accidental slip. Two weeks of living as a vegan and it was fucked. I probably can't sensibly blame being a vegan for the nightmares but I might anyway. Veganism gave me nightmares.
Now that I have stopped being a vegan, thanks to Rita & Ron who supplied me with excellent cupcakes, pizza and red wine I can calmly say that I can't do it. It takes far too much planning ahead for my liking. I am a person who would rather eat three rice crackers, a squirt of toothpaste and half an orange than plan out something to cook. I am far too busy thinking to be bothered with cooking most of the time. Some people can manage to both think and cook, I am not one of them.
At one point I was in danger of becoming a permanent vegan despite the lack of nutino and milo. There is a certain romance to being other but considering I am already decidedly odd looking, a drastic smoker, a sexual spaz and generally determined to think my own way there is no need to add being a vegan to the list. I can adequately romance myself with all this other otherness and be content.
Now I will begin to think of my next experiment, one that lends itself to more frequent and interesting updates. I am having a little ponder about an experiment in tortures that do not cause actual bodily harm, I just need an accomplice.
Now that I have stopped being a vegan, thanks to Rita & Ron who supplied me with excellent cupcakes, pizza and red wine I can calmly say that I can't do it. It takes far too much planning ahead for my liking. I am a person who would rather eat three rice crackers, a squirt of toothpaste and half an orange than plan out something to cook. I am far too busy thinking to be bothered with cooking most of the time. Some people can manage to both think and cook, I am not one of them.
At one point I was in danger of becoming a permanent vegan despite the lack of nutino and milo. There is a certain romance to being other but considering I am already decidedly odd looking, a drastic smoker, a sexual spaz and generally determined to think my own way there is no need to add being a vegan to the list. I can adequately romance myself with all this other otherness and be content.
Now I will begin to think of my next experiment, one that lends itself to more frequent and interesting updates. I am having a little ponder about an experiment in tortures that do not cause actual bodily harm, I just need an accomplice.
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Daily, eat a loaf of bread or biscuits, and 4.5 litres of beer or grog (50-50 rum to water). On top of this daily ration, (and this is your weekly meal plan):
Wednesday: bowl of oatmeal, some butter and some cheese, and some dried peas.
Thursday: dried peas and salt pork.
Friday: (see wednesday)
Saturday: salt beef
Sunday: (see Thursday)
Monday: (see Wednesday, but sorry, you miss out on the dried peas today)
Tuesday: (see saturday).
The peas usually get made into a soup, salted meats usually got cooked in water. Maggots in biscuits are a nutritional bonus. Catch your own fish. Eat limes and sauerkraut to keep scurvy at bay.
(This is actually a British Navy circa 1800 diet, which is probably a hell of a lot better than a pirate's diet...)
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
It's brilliance like this that keeps me coming back to this blog.
I went "Vegan" once for six months, saying that, I actually lived with a Vegan and was Vegan inside the house, but outside it wasn't the case - strangely I did all the cooking, he may have known what not to eat but he sure didn't know what to eat, so I was always the one finding these great little Vegan surprises from the supermarket such as Worcester sauce which by any other brand contains a fish extract but if you buy Homebrand, they are so cheap in their manufacturing that they suppliment the fish extract with sugar - so there you go, all missions are possible, even Hazelnut Spread ones.
Rups :)