Two days in

I wonder what it feels like two days after you are married when you are washing dishes and wandering around thinking about dinner and bin night and whether you could be bothered cleaning the toilet.

I wonder if security rises like a fog to change the aspect on everything you see or if your foundations are making clicks into place and no matter how far you lean you feel you won't topple. I'm wondering what it feels like to stand across from someone on the edge of a gully in a circle of everyone you love best and know that you'll never again sit like me on the bed with dirty hair and a cat and the black hole eternity laughing empty futures in your face. I'm wondering if you notice or if you just walk a little taller.

Comments

Shelley said…
I think the black hole eternity never stops with the laughing empty futures etc. Some people never even notice and some seem to know where the off switch is. For the rest of us it's always there waiting.
NWJR said…
Nearly two decades in, I'm more insecure than ever. Not that I'd ever admit it, mind you.
Anonymous said…
I was married once, well not officially, although there was a marriage certificate drafted up but it was done so on several hundred bottles of booze, and some acid I believe. No one washed any dishes, had lots of sex though.

Rups :)
Anonymous said…
You notice. But the comfort, the security, comes gradually. You never forget what things were like before you found the love.

This is quite useful in times of trouble, because it means you remember to be grateful for the little everyday happinesses.

VD
Anonymous said…
Don't you clean your toilet?