Aeon, cereal, eye, gnome, hour, knife, pseudonym, xanadu. These are all words that sound like they start with a different letter. By the end of the evening I aim to have an entire alphabet. I should point out that I stole this idea, Robert was telling me that his brother was talking about it but hadn't yet done it. I am going to beat him. I will probably never meet him but I still want to beat him. My alphabet will be first.
Tim Rogers walked past Gemma today. This is clearly very unfair as she does not share my views on aging rockers. Boli sent me a text today saying that he is getting married in one month. It is a family only wedding. I am not invited and this makes me inexplicably teary. I do not wish to talk about it in fact I have not even phoned him.
I understand that it is his wedding and if he wants to have a very small family only wedding then I should be saying things like "That's fine. Its your wedding, you should do whatever you want". I am sick of saying that. It is a lie.
I want to go to Boli's wedding so much that I cried. This is unusual behaviour. Weddings are ordinarily very boring and you have to eat horrible things and wear stupid clothes and sit around in a room painted peach being polite to fucktards for hours on end. The only real benefit of weddings is wedding cake icing. You can generally smuggle several pieces over to your table and peel off the icing. The unwanted yucky cake can then be neatly wrapped in a napkin and placed on a dirty plate or in an extreme situation in a handily concealed plant.
I always lie about weddings and end up saying things like " I am happy to wear the maroon lace sack of crap and then pose for photographs" or "Why on earth would I mind that you invited my ex from high school to your wedding? I don't care at all that once he had non-consensual sex with me". Lies, lies and more lies. I am a compulsive wedding liar but worse than that is I plan to continue being a wedding liar. I can't see any way around it, people become odd about their weddings.
I know eight people that are getting married in the next few months. They are all younger than me. I am officially a spinster. Left on the shelf. Crazy cat lady. Reject of society. Wild, lonely and free.
I am spending the evening writing an alphabet of words that sound like they start with different letters than they do. Pneumatic.
Tim Rogers walked past Gemma today. This is clearly very unfair as she does not share my views on aging rockers. Boli sent me a text today saying that he is getting married in one month. It is a family only wedding. I am not invited and this makes me inexplicably teary. I do not wish to talk about it in fact I have not even phoned him.
I understand that it is his wedding and if he wants to have a very small family only wedding then I should be saying things like "That's fine. Its your wedding, you should do whatever you want". I am sick of saying that. It is a lie.
I want to go to Boli's wedding so much that I cried. This is unusual behaviour. Weddings are ordinarily very boring and you have to eat horrible things and wear stupid clothes and sit around in a room painted peach being polite to fucktards for hours on end. The only real benefit of weddings is wedding cake icing. You can generally smuggle several pieces over to your table and peel off the icing. The unwanted yucky cake can then be neatly wrapped in a napkin and placed on a dirty plate or in an extreme situation in a handily concealed plant.
I always lie about weddings and end up saying things like " I am happy to wear the maroon lace sack of crap and then pose for photographs" or "Why on earth would I mind that you invited my ex from high school to your wedding? I don't care at all that once he had non-consensual sex with me". Lies, lies and more lies. I am a compulsive wedding liar but worse than that is I plan to continue being a wedding liar. I can't see any way around it, people become odd about their weddings.
I know eight people that are getting married in the next few months. They are all younger than me. I am officially a spinster. Left on the shelf. Crazy cat lady. Reject of society. Wild, lonely and free.
I am spending the evening writing an alphabet of words that sound like they start with different letters than they do. Pneumatic.
Comments
clutching at straws here.