This is a long distance call

My friend Spencer, the one with the wasabi, confessed that he once turned a man into an utter cock by giving him a Kinks tape. He said the man was young and unformed with long hair and Mudhoney t-shirts so he gave him the tape. It was a mystical moment. His hair seemed to shrink and shorten and become rounder, his shoes grew into boots that were pointed and the Mudhoney shirt sagged with the dull look of defeat. The man became a mod. The man became a total cock that no one could stand to be around. It was all Spencer's fault.